Are Gate Lice Soon to Be Exterminated?

MK: Back to the problem of gate lice: Do you guys find a certain type of person—older, younger—more likely to crowd the gate?

CH: The bigger the group traveling together, the pushier they are because they want to stick together. Last year, I was at the airport to go to Rome and get on my first cruise for work. My boarding zone got called and this nuclear family that was clearly doing a big trip together closed ranks. They all grabbed each other and were advancing on the check-in desk like a tank, and the daughters were literally saying, “Encroach! Encroach! You can’t be afraid to encroach, this is what we have to do.” They pushed me out of the way. And then we all ended up sitting in the same row together and I felt this ill will for these strangers that I was stuck with for nine hours. It sticks with me the, “This is what we have to do,” because it’s a self-perpetuating myth. You doing it creates the problem in the first place.

Matt Ortile: People’s overarching relationship with the airport is to want to spend as little time there as possible, because that’s all time spent waiting. But it’s like when you’re driving, and the car next to you speeds up to pass you but then you both get stuck next to each other at the same stoplight.

CH: So, in a move that surprised me because I can’t believe it didn’t already exist, American Airlines is testing a system that flags when people attempt to board before their group has been called. Reports the Post, “When when someone tries to board with the wrong group, its software gives an ‘audible signal’ and shows the gate agent a message with the correct group.”

MO: Shame! Shame!

CH: Probably the only social tool that works. Have any of you jumped groups before?

JS: Yes, and I’ve been caught, I swear this is not a new thing. It’s when I’m traveling with someone in a different group. And there is a sound that goes off, but the flight attendant will just be like, “Whatever!” I can’t remember the name of the airline, it’s been so many different ones.

HT: I’ve boarded before my group by accident and gotten away with it.

MK: Me too.

CH: Which is understandable, by the way, because in the chaos of the gate lice it’s hard to see or hear who is boarding. I did it once, because I was anxious about my carry-on but also just to see if I could.

HT: I think the tech is a pretty good idea, anything that can be used to actually streamline a system is the point of technology.

MO: I worry there will be travelers who, because they are the way they are, will try to board too early and hear the beep and say, “What’s the big deal? You want me to go back in line?”

HT: My closing thoughts about the gate lice are that we should all protest the airlines pitting us against each other by boarding in order and sitting down nicely until your group is called. Unity!