Shortly after settling into our ground-floor suite, a whitewashed oasis of tranquility complete with a gas fireplace, soaking tub, and private terrace, Michelle and I parted ways for the inaugural treatment in our respective Journeys. Determined to lean into Mii Amo’s spiritual offerings (despite type-A skepticism), I met my practitioner, Adrian, for a 60-minute reiki session. We spent the first few minutes chatting in the soothing treatment room. I shared my intentions for the trip—healing from the loss of my mother, reconnecting with my sister, finding greater balance as a working mom. As Adrian moved his hands over my limbs to channel energy, blockages and tension were exposed. Fighting back tears, I revealed what weighed on my heart: overwhelming guilt in leaving my children for a work trip; selfishness for transferring their care to my busy husband; doubt over how I could even be a successful mother while I still yearned so deeply for my own.
“The question I’m hearing is,” Adrian responded, “Am I enough?” I nodded in agreement. “The fact that you’re here, doing the work and taking the time to recenter, proves that you are,” he said. “Try telling yourself, in your mind’s eye, I am enough.”
As I closed my eyes, I sensed only hollowness in my core. I feel like a farce, I admitted.
Adrian encouraged again, “How about: In this moment, I am enough.” And so I leaned into the discomfort, permitting myself the space for self-exploration and healing. With my head weightlessly cradled in his palms, Adrian guided me through a series of meditations. Internally repeating my mantra, I felt an occult lifting sensation in my chest, a manifested release of the guilt and the self-doubt. When the treatment concluded, I reunited with Michelle in the floor-to-ceiling-glass Relaxation Lounge. As we settled into the soft upholstered loungers and stared out at the towering red rock formations, perfectly placed succulents, and standalone bird feeder, visited briefly by a hummingbird, I felt a deep sense of relaxation.
Adrian had given me back the first piece of myself.
Over the next two days, Michelle and I engaged in an array of individual treatments and group sessions: tension-relieving neuromuscular massages, invigorating sunrise yoga, mind-bending tarot card and palm reading. Downtime was at once leisurely (soaks in the outdoor hot tub), informative (a chef’s garden tour), and adventurous (trail hikes to scenic lookouts). Catching up on kids and work over lattes and lemon-ricotta pancakes gave way to reminiscing about our mom over prickly pear margaritas at the onsite Hummingbird restaurant. For me, physical healing and spiritual growth compounded with every treatment. More pieces, recovered.
On the final afternoon, Michelle and I ended the trip with a Connection Ceremony, which the spa described as a chance to “meet times of transition by letting go, saying goodbye, or welcoming in.” Our practitioner, Kimbeth, led us to the Crystal Grotto, a sacred space at the epicenter of Mii Amo. The circular room—with its earthen floor, domed ceiling, petrified-wood water feature, and illuminated quartz crystal—felt womb-like. Seated together, Michelle and I tearfully recounted the traumatic events of our mother’s passing. The difficulties our family has faced in her absence. The pain we feel in raising our own children without her support and guidance. Kimbeth listened patiently, pausing to ask thoughtful questions and highlight potential meanings. She then instructed us to each choose a tarot card that might guide our transition through grief. Mine, the Giraffe Spirit, was a sign to “observe from a higher view, so as not to overlook details and connections that will help you better understand your circumstances.” Michelle’s, the Porcupine Spirit, instructed to let go of “the old, confining stories that no longer have a hold on you and approach situations with childlike curiosity.”
It was time, Kimbeth explained, to release ourselves from that which didn’t serve us—the expectation, the guilt, the despair—and to appreciate the bigger picture. That our mother’s death continues to deepen our bond as sisters and teaches us to cherish the gift of motherhood. Kimbeth then led us on a guided meditation. A field of wildflowers. A wide oak tree. A white light floating toward you. As we departed the Crystal Grotto, Kimbeth urged us not to think of our mother as departed and to communicate with her more. Maybe even ask her to reveal herself during our final hours in this mystical vortex; to offer us “not just a sign, but a billboard.”
