I strongly resisted the urge to edit out my underwear line and wrinkles in this cheap, $20 dress that I wish I never bought in the first place.⠀
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This is the only time I ever wore it.⠀
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It doesn’t sit on my body just right, it feels rough on my skin, it wrinkles instantly and it feels like it could rip at the slightest, too quick movement.⠀
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It was a quick fix. I went to the mall and didn’t have a lot of money to spend, but wanted to look cute for my getaway. ⠀
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I could have spent that money on a dress that I feel good in, is soft on my body, and actually lasts longer than one weekend. I didn’t even need it, I just wanted it because it was there and it was accessible.⠀
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The clothes that I love wearing over and over again are the same pieces that will be a part of my wardrobe for years to come. They’re also the pieces with experiences & stories attached to them that will last just as long as the memories.⠀
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Years ago In Vancouver, I vividly remember buying a soft pink sundress while shopping with my uncle & his partner (who both made me feel like a beauty queen), despite having a giant bandage across my face from the motorbike accident in Thailand, just two weeks earlier. ⠀
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The dress was over $100, and I questioned if I even deserved to spend that much on just one dress. My first thought, “no”. My father would have gasped at such a price tag.⠀
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I paced the store for what felt like forever, having a battle in my mind. I LOVED how that dress made me feel, but I also felt selfish and ungrateful.⠀
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I stretched my “fuck it” muscle and bought it, choosing to see it as a gift and investment in myself; a tribute to my experiences AND better days, all in one.⠀
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That same weekend, we serendipitously walked past celebrity Elijah Wood, and his eyes were just as piercing as they looked in the movies. The thought that crossed my mind was that he was probably thinking, “what the fuck happened to this girl’s face?”⠀
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I didn’t know whether I should feel humiliated or like a badass for new my battle scar…⠀
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Well, I think you know which one I chose. ⠀
Our lives are the sum of our choices along the way.
