According to Gothelf, there’s nuance: “In my opinion, the normal is 20%, maybe 25% if you can swing it. I personally feel like with tipping culture, the expectation to tip above and beyond the norm can add unnecessary pressure to diners. I have been in the hospitality business for over a decade and have seen a wide range of people going out to dinner. You can get a family of five that is out to celebrate a special occasion who would rarely go out to eat, to folks who go out often and can spare a little more. I obviously feel strongly about tipping service workers, but to me, the standard 20% is fine. Overall, it’s whatever guests feel comfortable with and it is always a blessing.”
What about tipping at other service businesses, like coffee shops or delis? It gets a little more complicated, especially with the proliferation of touchscreen payment methods like Square that encourage you to tip upwards of 20% where, previously, a few dollars of loose change would have sufficed. Edy Massih, who runs the beloved counter-service-only Edy’s Grocer in Greenpoint, says, “If people are just coming in and buying groceries, they don’t need to tip. But if you get coffee, if you get sandwiches, then it’s nice to tip.”
Iman Wright, a barista at Dweebs in Bushwick who has worked as a hostess and occasional maître d’ in the recent past, adds, “Restaurants don’t pay enough, a whole other conversation for another day. These jobs aren’t easy and I don’t think a lot of people who dine out know this. If you can’t go all the way, do what you can! Tipping absolutely nothing is very disheartening and feels like a slap to the face.” As for how to do so, Wright says, “Please tip with cash if possible.” If you are confused as to why, see recent political squabbles over taxing tips for service workers.
How late can you be for a reservation?
Interestingly, Yelp breaks down the responses to this question by sex, with men more than women abhorring lateness to a reservation. The party line for diners and restaurants alike is that a reservation buys you a 15 minute grace period—says Goldstein, “The best thing you can do if you’re running late is to give the restaurant a head’s up that you’ll be late so they can shuffle things around and accommodate both you and other diners.”
What say you about phones at the table?
The majority of Yelp users agree that phones should be out of sight while on a date, while only 50% say it shouldn’t be used while out with friends. For Gothelf, the answer is always no: “Dinner is something that is sacred to me. It is a moment in time that brings people together and lets us stop the everyday madness. The only reason you would need a phone is if you are discussing something that requires you show something to everyone.”
Goldstein concurs, saying, “I try as best I can to avoid picking up my phone at the table, in any eating scenario. Unless there’s a photo or text receipt you urgently need to show to your dining companion to color your storytelling—in which case, by all means—I like to keep things screen-side down on the table, or tucked away altogether.”
