AS: I mean, I think anyone who goes to a music festival with their friend group might inadvertently find themselves in a polycule, whether they want to or not. No, but I mean-
LA: I have heard a story about a drum circle at Glastonbury where that did happen to one of my friends.
AS: Yeah. I mean, God, once the lights go out at these places… But, no. I mean, I think the thing that I’ve heard about from people and read about more is people in throuples, that tends to be the most common configuration. And of course, that can present logistical issues. If you’re flying, Delta only gives you one companion pass. Hotel rooms, you can fit three people into a king bed, but… You know, logistically, yeah, I mean I think you have to be flexible. People figure it out.
LA: That’s such a good point that you make about how the world is so structured around couples and thinking of if you’re traveling alone, there’s the single person supplement. Whereas if you are on a cruise or in certain resorts, you end up having to pay the price that two people would because they don’t even accommodate one person in a room or a cabin.
And then I’m thinking of how a hotel room is laid out. And if there were three or four of you and there’s one bed, it’s like, what happens? You have to have a cot put at the end of the bed? And do you toss a coin as to who ends up in there?
AS: Yeah. I mean, exactly. And I think that a lot of people have had the experience of being single on a vacation where everyone else is a couple and how difficult that is. And I think just an awareness of how the world and how travel is set up with couples in mind is interesting and something that… Yeah.
LA: God. Now, I’m thinking about weddings and how you always just get a plus-one. Anyway, that could be a whole other episode.
It’s not always easy to pull off, and we’ll be talking about some of the more logistical challenges after the break.
The emotional fallout and the experiments that maybe fail. You’re back with Women Who Travel and my guest, journalist AS.
I keep thinking about all of the tensions that come with a group trip, even when people aren’t sleeping together. And I was wondering if you had, through your reporting, heard any stories about group dynamics or group trips that had not necessarily gone awry, but maybe hadn’t gone as planned or hadn’t gone as foreseen?
AS: I think more often what’s likely to happen is, say, you are to go on a trip as a triad where all three of you are in some sort of romantic relationship. I mean, three is a complicated number to travel in. And if two of the partners want to stay out late and one of them wants to get up early and hike, then that’s a conflict. If two people want to eat at a certain restaurant and one person doesn’t, that’s a conflict. And travel is kind of this powder keg that puts all this strain on existing dynamics. And I think especially if you’re in a group of more than two, that can be really complicated.
