And it was only, you know, I have to ask him his name. And then that was when it was over for me. I was like, ah, it was so good. It was, it was, I was thinking maybe, maybe tonight I would get lucky but he had a very unlucky name in my opinion because he had the same name as my ex-husband. And there was no way I was having a hot hotel room sex with a guy with the same name as my ex-husband. I just, that didn’t sound appropriate to me. And honestly, it was basically like my whole brain shut off in a different way. Anyway, he didn’t know that. And I didn’t tell him that. But he kept talking to me in the elevator, and then he, he got out on the same floor as me. And apparently, I’m not very smart, ’cause I looked at him and I said, “You’re on the same floor as me? That’s a coincidence.” He said, “Lisa, I’m not on the same floor as you.” And then I was thinking, why would he get off the same floor as me? Like, oh, he thinks he’s coming home with me.
I was like, nope, nope, nope. It’s my first day at work tomorrow. I had so many excuses. And he said, I have to work tomorrow, too. And he told me that he was working on set with Arnold Schwarzenegger, which honestly, I didn’t believe. I was like, “Sure, he’s here. And sure you’re on set also.” I just figured I had said I was on set, so then he said he was on set. Anyway, I, in fact, I gave him my card. And I don’t know why because I was never gonna sleep with him. I waved goodbye. And I went to my room. And you know, I had to wash my hair because I had been swimming and I had to work the next day. And I, the whole time, I just thought just make a huge mistake. I mean, when the universe gives you a gift, you’re not really supposed to give it back. And I thought since I had my imaginary boyfriend before I even left, it is like the universe saying, here you go, and served him up to me on this platter. And I just basically kicked him to the curb. So I thought about that all night. And then, of course, again, I was sleep-deprived for work, and I got there, and I had made fast friends.
And I was telling this woman, my whole story. I’m like, “I know I never met you before but this crazy thing happened to me last night.” And I told her the whole story, especially about his name. She said, “First of all, who cares what you call him,” and she invented a name for him because he had such good abs. She called him Abs McGee. Anyway, so all day long, I was thinking about that Abs McGee, and he did actually text me from his set, and asked if he could see me later. And I was thinking about it. And I did find out I asked someone… I just asked who else was in town filming and the first person they mentioned was Arnold Schwarzenegger. [laughing] So it was true that Arnold Schwarzenegger was in town. I decided to text a friend of mine who I’ve known since the seventh grade. And I texted her, I explained the story to her. And she wrote me back and she said, “Listen, I think it’s really time that you have a new association with an old name.” She said, “You can’t keep giving your ex-husband all this power. I think you deserve to have a great time.”
